A641.2.3.RB - Am I a Resonant Leader?

When I was younger I considered a great leader to be a person that was charismatic, intelligent, powerful, and courageous.  I thought of a leader as a person that would boisterously give orders, and his followers would do as directed.  I thought of a leader as someone who had little compassion for those he led because he had to be focused on results.  I now realize that my earlier concept of leadership was seriously flawed.  Some of the characteristics I envisioned in leaders are important, but my total picture of great leadership was way off.  Now I see that great leaders create resonance (Boyatzis & McKee, 2005).  Great leaders use emotional intelligence, empathy, and compassion to communicate effectively with those they lead (Boyatzis & McKee, 2005).  Great leaders do at least as much listening as they do talking (Jones, 2019).  They know their people individually.  They know how to motivate and inspire them, not simply dictate their tasks to them.  Great leaders use their emotional intelligence to empathize with their people; to try to understand how to help them reach their full potential.  Great leaders also set the tone of their organization.  Emotions are highly contagious, so it is critical that a leader provides an example of the tone they hope to establish throughout their organization (Boyatzis & McKee, 2005).  There is a lot more to a great leader than I imagined when I was young.

So the question is, where do I sit?  Where am I on the poor leader-great leader spectrum?

Great leaders are inspirational.  After pondering on what it means to be inspirational, and even asking for my wife’s input, I think I am more inspirational than I have given myself credit for in the past.  I have always thought of an inspirational person as one who can give the perfect “go get ‘em team” speech at just the right time.  I am not really big on speeches in that way.  My wife helped me to see that I am inspirational by my example.  I am not a very outspoken person.  I am not shy or quiet, but I am not outspoken.  I don’t try to convince those around me that my way of thinking is the only right way.  However, I am opinionated; I simply don’t feel the need to force my opinion on others.  Instead, I try to provide an example.  My wife pointed out to me that by my example I am able to successfully inspire others to try to be better, or do just a little more.  When I have been in leadership positions in that past I have tried to help the people I led to see that I was just a normal guy.  I tried to interact with them as peers, not as their superior.  However, I tried to get them to see, through my example, that I had an expectation of excellence, and that I knew they could do the same.  Great leaders are inspirational. 

Great leaders are optimistic and inspire hope.  I am optimistic by nature.  I see the glass half full, and it motivates me to fill it the rest of the way!  A few years ago while I was lead pilot one of the pilots that I led made a serious mistake.  He didn’t hurt anybody or cause any property damage, but the potential was there.  He was sure that he was going to get fired.  The director of operations had to make the decision whether or not to keep him or let him go; I was not involved in that discussion.  However, I worked closely with him and tried to get him to see that, although he did make a big mistake, it could have been worse.  I helped him to see that even if he did lose his job the potential for positive outcomes was there.  He had wanted to move his family closer to their extended family, and I helped him to see that perhaps this would be their opportunity.  Sometimes we have to make lemonade out of lemons.  He ended up not getting fired.  Great leaders inspire a positive emotional tone.  

Great leaders are empathetic; they understand the people they lead.  While I have served in leadership positions I have tried to make it a rule to listen far more than I talk.  I think that is critical for a great leader.  I have always wanted my people to know that I care about them personally, their feelings, their worries, and their opinions.  I think that willingness to listen has really helped me to be able to be in touch with people, to understand them, and know what is in their hearts and on their minds (McKee, Boyatzis, Johnston, 2008).  However, sometimes I worry that the relationships I develop with those I lead are too superficial and that I need to reach down deeper.  Great leaders are in touch with those they lead.

Great leaders demonstrate compassion.  As a leader I have always wanted my people to feel like I am part of the team, not above the team.   I always have tried to make it feel like I have time for them.  When I meet with people individually, I try to keep from looking at the clock or my watch so they don’t feel like they are wasting my time.  I make sure that I am available when people need individual help, or simply a listening ear to bounce ideas off of.  Additionally, I try to be involved in the “dirty jobs,” the tasks no one really wants to do.  I think this helps people understand that I don’t see myself as superior to them, and that I want to help them be successful.  Great leaders are compassionate.

Great leaders are authentic.  I try to be my real self regardless of the circumstances.  I do not like hypocrisy, and I think that people who change who they are depending on the circumstances lack authenticity.  Again, I am not loud and outspoken, so I do not feel the need to force myself and my opinions on others, but I try to be my real self all the time.  Leaders who lack authenticity can create insecurity in the people they lead.  The insecurity develops as people become anxious as they worry about which side of the leader they are going to get.  On one occasion a few years ago I had a tense conversation with my superior.  He was iron fisted, and was demanding that the pilots at my base do something that I did not think was right.  It was not illegal or wrong, I simply did not think it was fair.  I left his office angry and upset.  After I settled down, I realized that I had been rude and unprofessional.  I went back to his office the next day and apologized for how I acted.  I told him that was not how I usually act, and that I wanted to make it right.  I shook his hand and left.  Authenticity is essential to a great leader.

I believe that I sit pretty well on the Resonant Leader spectrum.  I am inspirational through my positive example.  I am hopeful and optimistic.  I am generally in touch with those I lead, although I could benefit from improving the depth of my relationships.  I demonstrate compassion to others through my example and willingness to work with and help those I lead.  I am authentic, allowing my true self to guide my actions and my decisions.

References

Boyatzis, R. E., & McKee, A. (2005). Resonant leadership: renewing yourself and connecting with others through mindfulness, hope, and compassion. Boston, MA: Harvard Business School Press.

Jones, T. (2019, December 9). What Makes a Good Leader: 10 Critical Leadership Qualities. Retrieved from https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/10-impressive-characteristics-great-leaders-have.html

McKee, A., Boyatzis, R. E., & Johnston, F. (2008). Becoming a Resonant Leader: Develop Your Emotional Intelligence, Renew Your Relationships, Sustain Your Effectiveness (1st ed.). Boston, MA: Harvard Business Review Press.